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Getting good and angry. Then you just let yourself fall helplessly into that black hole at the bottom of the well until, like in a fairy tale, you come out on the other end feeling enlightened and reborn. This book has been a revelation for me, a woman in her early sixties who has read dozens of books on psychology and relationships. Well, instead of repressing it or detouring it or just quickly trying to feel some compassion for yourself, here you are urged to go down "vertically" into the well, step by step, and find out what has triggered such a strong emotion. Sounds pretty fantastical, and yet it works. The approach here is completely different from anything I've read or heard of before. You can use this in your daily life, with all kinds of relationships--with your husband, your sister, your friends.
I knew that I'd be working with it for a long time and it has become my relationship bible. I have been working with "Undefended Love" for about 18 months now. Together we've been working a chapter per month and have each experienced being stirred up, challenged, opened and slowly I believe, we are all moving closer to the freedom to be found through undefended loving.I recommend this book all the time to friends & clients and as I enter my 4th reading of it, I'm convinced that Undefended Love points to the most important personal work any of us can undertake. I knew I wanted to continue to deepen my mastery of the material and so developed a work-group with 5 women friends. It was an amazing experience for me at the first reading because it had been so many years since any book had the power to confront me so. I delighted in the fact that at some moments I was so stretched that I had to repeatedly put the book down.
We find out how we sabotage our relationships and how to stop. As we stay with the process, we begin the journey towards experiencing our true essence or nature, which is love.Since this book, all my relationships have improved exponentially, especially the one with my Self.Buy this book.you will not be disappointed. This book came into my life after a difficult break-up that left me questioning my ideas about life and love. Through skillful exercises we learn to drop beneath our layers of defenses and discover why we defend ourselves. You can change your life. Determined to improve my future realationships, I bought this book. 'Undefended Love', is a masterfully guided tour in the process of releasing ourselves from the defenses we use to protect ourselves from the very thing we want most, love.
What am I trying to get from my partner that I feel I'm not getting or have on my own and how is that getting in the way of transparency, love and intimacy with my partner. What am I trying to hide or protect about myself from my partner that gets in the way of intimacy. This is a must read for any one who wants to improve relationships with others---especially in the area of romantic love. I was impressed by this book- written well with incredible clarity and concepts that opened my mind to what it was about us that created the tensions, the disappointments and the frustrations in our love/romantic relationships. A couple of questions I am taking away from this book: What is my essence.
I got an immense amount of good out of this book. I consider myself someone who is fairly thoughtful and has already made an effort around being spiritually grounded, self-aware and having healthy relationships. After reading it, I bought several copies and handed them out to my closeset friends. It helps peel back the layers and digs deep. This book, however, sets up a pretty profound framework around these things and asks deep questions. It helped me get to a new level of thought about my relationship with myself as well as my romantic relationships.
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